A very good question, Ma'am. Let us begin by answering with another question: How does one romance a woman?
Wine her, dine her, call her, cuddle her, surprise her, compliment her, shop with her, listen to her, buy her flowers, hold her hand, write her love letters, and be willing to go to the ends of the earth for her, etc.
Sounds about right. So then, how does one romance a man?
For him, it is a well-known joke: "Show up naked. Bring beer."
The Meaning Of Sex To Men vs To Women
While it’s true no two people are alike, and we all get into relationships for different reasons, some general principles still apply:
For most women, relationships are about Love and Connection. A woman will gravitate to a man according to the love she feels for and receives from him. A man, on the other hand, first has to have a sexual attraction to a woman, and later, he might fall in love.
In a survey of married men, 83% indicated that mutual pleasure and female initiation of sex were among their primary sexual needs. A lot of ladies may feel that sex is only a tiny part of a relationship, and if their men give them the support and affection they crave, sex is not that important to them. For guys, however, Sex, Sex, and again, SEX is the most potent reason for starting a relationship. According to Marriage.com, sex will NEVER stop being important to men. It’s inextricably hard-wired into their systems.
Now you know your man needs sex as much as he does food and sleep, so let us examine some reasons:
1. Sex Is How He Connects With His Woman
Like other men, your husband, if he was raised to be “the strong, silent type” and impervious to pain, is selectively barred by society from expressing either it, fear, or any other "weak" emotions. Sadly, being forbidden to express his core soul often excludes him from authentic and deep connections with other human beings, especially women.
Yet, whilst being programmed not to show weakness, sex does require a certain amount of vulnerability from your man. He lays himself bare – literally – at your mercy. This demands vast courage as it opens up a hallowed area of complete exposure, "warts 'n all", with no place to hide. Unbridled transparency in his sex life means a level of connection that cannot be duplicated in any other sphere of human life.
In other words, sex for your husband is the glue in your relationship. It's where he can express himself and his emotions without censorship. This unique bond he establishes with you transcends the challenges of daily life and affirms that, come what may, his relationship with his woman is rock solid. Because he is not a talker, like most men, another fantastic bonus for him about sex is that it releases hormones that de-stress his brain and body. For some part of his day, he can relax and be himself. Good lovemaking can also go a long way towards dissolving any obstacles that might be estranging you, and he knows this.
Being physically and mentally vulnerable demands enormous trust and courage from your husband, so treasure the unique closeness as he bares his soul to his Special Someone (you). Gradually, you develop your own secret language, and he trusts that you will never share his hidden depth with another. And you will honour this trust if you value your man. Without intimacy, you are little more than roommates. Loving sex is the only way to give that extra something of yourselves to each other. In his world of increasingly unwelcome pressures, sex is his go-to place to be close to you, his love, and be himself.
You must admit this aspect of his brings something unique, even spiritual, into your union. It is no wonder some folk regard sex as "meditation made physical".
2. Sex Is Nature's Way Of Reducing Stress, Frustration & Depression
Sexual activity releases endorphins. These happy hormones boost a person's mood and balance emotions, making them feel better. They also moderate a person's response to stress, thereby reducing it. In other words, sex helps your husband cope better in life.
3. Sex Improves Sleep
We all know that life is more manageable after a good night’s sleep, so be sure to let your man snooze, and snore, if he must!
4 Orgasms Release Oxytocin
Oxytocin, also known as the Cuddle Hormone, makes us happy to be with the people we love. This means it promotes bonding without the need for extra talk. As you know, men are not great talkers, so sex is a preferred way for your man to draw you close. In short, sex makes him happy to be with you and want to give to you, so don't mess with a good thing.
For guys, Sex, Sex, and again, Sex is the most potent reason for starting a relationship. According to Marriage.com, sex will NEVER stop being important to men. It’s inextricably hard-wired into their systems.
Even more reason not to mess with him
5. Sex Builds His Confidence
The male ego is inevitably bound to sex and sexual performance. A man loves praise and to be a hero. Bringing the woman of his dreams to climax is one sure-fire confirmation of his prowess and being the ultimate "stud". A confident man is a happy man, and a happy man is likely to want to make his woman happy too - a win-win situation.
6. Sex Improves His Body- And Self-Image
When a couple regularly shares intercourse, both are comforted by being intimately known and totally accepted by the other. No other human interaction offers this. When a man desires his woman sexually, it makes her feel attractive and wanted, so she shows him she wants him, which, in turn, makes him feel like an Eros. Note the invisible pangs of Desire bouncing back and forth!
In another nutshell, sex also allows your man to demonstrate his prowess and underline his macho-ness in bold red ink!
7. Sex Can Be Heaps Of Fun
And it's free. (Unless you want to spice things up.) Ma'am, sex for your husband should never be boring. He already has enough "Boring" in his life. For him, it should always have new angles, new meaning and new fun. This is because it shows that you care and allows him to explore his individual likes and dislikes without judgement. If you want to help brighten things up, look at our exciting Sex Toys for Couples and crazy little foreplay seduction. Think outside the box, play along with your husband, and watch him BEAM!
8. Sex Is A Celebration Of Life
Psychologist Dr Melodie Schaefer explains it perfectly:
“Men wish women would take more of a ‘carpe diem’ approach to sex. On the long list of our priorities, sex should not be on the bottom rung.”
Many busy women trying to juggle all their roles admit that being a lover is the first to be given the chop. Worker, mother, housekeeper, wife, friend. All elbow in ahead of poor little Lover. If you're not careful, your role as Lover gets shunted squarely and unfairly to the bottom rung.So, seize the day and make space to be a little spunky with your man - you have no idea how much it will mean to him!
9. Sex Is Healing
Lastly, when one considers the health benefits of regular intercourse, one begins to see why men wish their wives would prioritise sex more than they do. Your husband instinctively knows that sex dilutes anxiety, stress, and high blood pressure and promotes healing and couple bonding.
So there, dear Ma'am, you have nine good reasons why sex is at the top of your man's priority list. For both of your sakes, we advise: let him keep it there!
If Sex Is Not Happening
If you’re not having sex regularly, it could be that one of you, or both, is too busy, tired, unwell, or whatever. Sadly, however, there could sometimes be an unhappy underlying reason needing urgent attention. If this is the case with you, please do not ignore it.
Popular health blog FitnessRepublic comments:
“Not having sex is most likely a symptom of a deeper problem. There could be a barrier to communication or a lack of trust between partners that translates into a lack of intimacy. Both men and women enjoy and desire sex (in most cases), so if it isn’t happening, something is amiss."
The first thing you can do is talk about it with your husband. If you can, have an open and honest discussion about why you’re not having sex and what you can do about it. As we have said, sexual intimacy is crucial for a happy relationship. If he is reluctant to talk to you, ask him to seek counselling. Your marriage could be at stake.
Too often, sexual obstacles are the result of simple misunderstandings or frustrations. Be straightforward with him and encourage him to talk. Let him know how you feel and if you think something new or more input from him would help. He can't read your mind (usually), so the only way he will learn of your concerns is when you voice them. And ditto for him.
Sex: Not Just For Men
Having answered your questions, let us go off on a tangent. Contrary to what some people think, millions of women love sex and Sex Toys for Women. You may have heard that men need sex more than women do, but this is often surprisingly wrong. Sexuality and sexual desire are genderless phenomena. It must also be noted here that using sex to guilt another person into submitting is tantamount to emotional and physical blackmail - not acceptable! On the other hand, downplaying the significance of sex for both parties in a relationship is equally unreasonable. You owe it to yourselves to balance things out.
We have already stated that Honesty and Trust are the most important elements in any healthy relationship. Whether these lead to a robust sex life or vice versa, they are actually two sides of the same coin, each as shiny as the other, and therefore should be given the recognition they deserve.
