Does This Sound Familiar?
It’s four or five years into your relationship, and those days of ripping each other’s clothes off even before dessert are now a thing of the past. Like two passing ships in the night, she unpacks the groceries while he reaches for a beer and heads for the TV.
Her partner realises that it’s three weeks since last they had sex, and he can’t remember how long it was before that, as she turns over and switches off the light. Partner sighs hopelessly, "Is this drought in lovemaking here to stay?"
How Does Sex Drive Diminish?
Quite easily, actually, and there are a number of reasons for this.
Firstly, that idyllic honeymoon phase of all-consuming, overflowing lovemaking that couples enjoy when they first enter a relationship is usually short-lived. This is because when a person falls in love, their brain goes crazy and spews out loads of feel-good chemicals that set the whole body alight, right down to their toes. Unfortunately, after a while, that Olympic flame flutters and all those electrified chemicals and hormones lie back down to roost. Before you lose heart, let's quickly say that shooing them off their perches again requires effort, but it can be done.
Secondly, Although the crazy hormones might have settled, your brain remains in a bit of confusion regarding sex. At times, it will suddenly hit the accelerator, knowing precisely what it wants, and at other times, it screeches to a sudden halt, blinded by indecision.
Thirdly, you find you really could do with a kiss and a cuddle quite often, but there are so many invaders nagging in your head that sexy impulses get flung right out the window. In other words, your lower regions argue with your higher regions (your poor befuddled mind), creating polar opposite scenarios like: “Oooh! He’s really cute in that T-shirt” and immediately after that, “Damn, did I give Shaka his worm tab this morning?”
This constant tussling is just plain exhausting. So she opts for Easy—makes sure the dog gets his pill, rolls over, and switches off the light. Because she knows tomorrow will bring more invaders and more stoopid tussles, - "Why the heck did we get a Doberman anyway?"
Lastly, in the first flush of new love, a person couldn’t care less where they are nor who saw them kissing under the tree, but when they settle back under the weight of daily life, sex is the last thing they have energy for, never mind going back to that tree! And there the Sexy Self huddles - gasping under the mountain of chores crushing down on it.
The good news is that if you have this nasty development in your life, you can overcome it - if you work at it. And, before throwing your hands up in the air, remember that if you don't, you might just lose out on sex altogether.
And guys, don't think the ladies are the only ones who shove their intimate lives aside to make room for 'more important' things. They're not. It's time to take stock, too, and you'll see exactly what we mean.
So, for an excellent start, we suggest everyone banishes all things electronic from the bedroom—including their phones! Then, reach for those sexy little secret weapons like romantic candles, massage oils, sexy lingerie, and luxury linens—and act on them!
Best of all, see our comprehensive blog "Fit a Little Romance & Nookie in Your Crazy Schedule" to re-harmonise those naughty hormones with your horrible schedule. There is a happy compromise; you just have to do your bit!
